Tinted Photography is a happy place on social media where you come to see stories of love and celebrations. Sometimes, however, we are confronted with an issue that makes us want to speak out and use this space as our soapbox! Writing this title does feel socially awkward – but its high time we stop using that as an excuse and talk about important matters to raise awareness. I was lucky I had support from my family – but so many of us suffer alone – here is hoping we don’t have to anymore.
I was molested – I cannot even tell you how old I was.
I knew I was molested from the moment it happened, but for me to reconcile with it – it took over a decade.
There is research to prove that sexual trauma takes a very different form in our brains and how it tries to deal with it. “Sexual trauma is more strongly associated with tonic immobility than other types of trauma.”
This was the title of a population-based study done in 2017. Growing up, I was a psychology student and read a lot about sexual trauma and even met with real-life ‘cases’.
But that’s all they were – ‘cases’. I somehow dissociated myself from them. I did not want to be a victim and the irony was that by dissociating myself I was falling in the bigger trap of forever being challenged by what had happened to me. By not dealing with it head first, I was opening doors for it to permanently make home in my psyche. I am not writing this to tell you my story.
I am writing this so I might open someone’s eyes who is dissociating themselves from what has happened to them. I am writing this for those, who are trying to stay clear from #metoo on social media.I am writing this for those who think this is not a systemic problem.
“Traumatic experience, and traumatisation, can be subdivided into: primary trauma, secondary trauma, vicarious trauma and trans-generational trauma.
People susceptible to primary trauma are present when the traumatic incident occurs; secondary trauma is a possibility for people who witness the aftermath of a traumatic incident;
vicarious trauma is potentially a concern for people who hear about traumatic incidents (psychotherapists for example); and trans-generational trauma is a term sometimes used to describe the traumatic symptomatology displayed by the descendants of trauma survivors.” These were Zoe Lodrick’s words from Psychological Trauma – What Every Trauma Worker Should Know.
An incident does not just affect us, our silence towards it is not only hurting us – it’s hurting a wider population and even those yet unborn. Don’t un-hear a story when its told to you as a gossip, don’t wash your hands off of incidents because of your culture or upbringing.
Uplift those who need help with their predicament and shout against the damning voices in our society.
Whatever has happened does not just resides in the past – It is incredibly important to create an environment that is understanding of these issues and talk about it so sexual trauma does not remain a stigmatised.
Understand the repressive foundations on which so many stories still remain a secret and
educate those younger than us in the ways that we were blindsided.